Friends, Season 2

1. The One With Ross' New Girlfriend

Ross comes back from China with his new girlfriend, Julie, and Rachel has a really hard time dealing with it. She winds up sleeping with Paolo and hates herself for it. Joey persuades her to tell Ross how she feels, but when Ross tells her how in love he is with Julie, she can't bring herself to do it. Meanwhile, Phoebe has done such a great job cutting Chandler and Joey's hair that Monica begs her to cut hers. Phoebe is hesitant at first (because of Monica's "control" thing) but finally concedes; then gets confused and gives Monica a Dudley Moore haircut instead of the Demi Moore cut she requested. And Chandler goes to Joey's tailor for some alterations and gets "fondled;" it dawns on Joey he's been "fondled" by his tailor all these years.

2. The One With The Breast Milk

Ross thinks it's disgusting when Phoebe tastes Carol's breast milk while preparing a bottle for the baby, Ben. The group is divided as to whether there's anything "gross" about it. Meanwhile, everyone but Rachel has become friends with Julie. Monica, feeling like she's being "unfaithful," hides the friendship from Rachel and behaves like a guilty, unfaithful lover, buying Rachel flowers, etc. Eventually, Rachel finds a lunch receipt in Monica's jacket pocket and the truth comes out. After a girls' heart-to-heart, Rachel decides she'll try to become friends with Julie, herself. Meanwhile, a heated rivalry, a la the Old West, develops between Joey, still working at Bloomingdale's as the "Aramis Guy," and the new spritzer on the block, the "Hombre Guy".

3. The One Where Heckles Dies

Mr. Heckles dies and leaves his "estate" (which consists of a bunch of junk, much of it stolen from our gang) to Monica and Rachel. Rachel wants to keep an ugly lamp and Monica is against it. Rachel accuses her of still thinking of "their" place as "her" place and, when Monica accidentally breaks the lamp, Rachel's point is made --that is, until Monica replaces it with an equally hideous clock which Rachel had also admired. Meanwhile, Chandler, in thumbing through Heckles' yearbook, realizes he is living the same life Heckles did and becomes terrified that he, too, will end up alone because he is too picky about women's superficial flaws. After he stoops to calling Janice (which, luckily, doesn't lead to anything, because she is married and pregnant), the women convince Chandler that he's no different from the rest of the men on the planet, which makes him feel much better. And Phoebe lets it slip that she doesn't believe in evolution, which drives Ross nuts, so he keeps trying to make her change her mind.

4. The One With Phoebe's Husband

Phoebe's husband (no one knew), a gay, Canadian ice dancer, whom she married years ago so he could get a green card, shows up. He's come for a divorce and the heartbreaking thing for Phoebe, who's always had a big crush on him and still carries a torch, is that he's realized he's not gay after all. And Ross confides to Rachel that he and Julie haven't had sex yet, so Rachel tries to prevent it from happening. Then she sees how tortured Ross is, which prompts her to tell him how she'd want it to happen if she were in Julie's shoes. Meanwhile, Phoebe's "husband' secret causes everyone else to spill a few: Joey was in a porno movie (in a non-sexual role), Chandler has a third nipple and Monica had sex with Fun Bobby on the terrace.

5. The One With Five Steaks And An Eggplant

Monica gets promoted and invites the gang to an expensive restaurant to celebrate, causing Rachel, Phoebe and Joey (the "have nots") to really feel the disparity between their incomes and Ross, Monica and Chandler's (the "haves"). Matters get worse when the "have nots" feel the "haves" are extending charity by offering to pay their way so they can all see a Hootie and the Blowfish concert to celebrate Ross' birthday. The whole money issue fades when Monica is unexpectedly fired from her job. Meanwhile, a lonely woman (looking to reunite with a former lover named Bob) gets Chandler's answering machine. Chandler, who was screening calls, picks up and, pretending to be Bob, sets a date with her, planning to be there to pick up the pieces when Bob doesn't show. His evil plan works and he gets a date (which leads to his actually HAVING SEX for the first time in ages), only to have the whole thing backfire when the woman calls Bob (and, of course, gets Chandler who again pretends to be Bob) and confides in him that this new lover (Chandler) wasn't very good.

6. The One With The Baby On The Bus

Monica's upset that Ben doesn't like her because he always cries when she holds him. Then Ross has an allergic reaction to a kiwi pie Monica baked and she rushes him to the hospital. They leave Ben with Chandler and Joey, who use the baby to "pick up" some women on a bus. The guys get off with the women to have a drink and leave the baby on the bus!!!! When they go to the Transit Authority, they find two lost babies and can't tell which is Ben. They flip a coin and hope for the best. Back at the apartment, they are relieved when Monica picks the baby up and he starts crying. Meanwhile, Terry, the manager of Central Perk, hires a professional musician to play on Sunday afternoons. When Phoebe realizes she is the only one not being paid, she quits and starts playing outside with her guitar case open. She makes a little money but, at the end of the day, she realizes it's more important for her just to play for herself -- so she goes back to playing in the coffee house for free.

7. The One Where Ross Finds Out

Ross and Julie announce they are getting a cat -- together. That night, Rachel gets drunk on a date and all she talks about is Ross. She decides to get "closure" by calling him and telling his machine she is "over him." This is how he finds out she isn't over him, and he is now faced with the agonizing task of having to choose between her and Julie. Meanwhile, Chandler has put on some weight so the currently unemployed Monica helps him work out -- every single day. And Phoebe's irked because the guy she's been dating won't sleep with her.

8. The One With The List

Ross has some difficulty choosing between Rachel and Julie, so Chandler suggests they use his new computer to make up a list of Pros and Cons. Although Rachel's list has a few "cons" on it, Julie's major flaw is that she's "'Not Rachel." After Ross tells Rachel he wants to be with her, but before he breaks things off with Julie, Rachel sees the list and is furious! She refuses to talk to Ross even though he breaks up with Julie and makes a twenty-six-page list of all the reasons he wants to be with Rachel. Meanwhile, Monica needs work so she takes a freelance job making up Thanksgiving recipes that use a fake (and disgusting) chocolate product called "Mockolate".

9. The One With Phoebe's Dad

It's almost Christmas and Phoebe learns that, despite what her grandmother's been telling her, her biological father is a pharmacist who lives in upstate New York. Her grandmother lends Phoebe her cab and Phoebe gets Chandler and Joey to ride upstate with her. She spends hours agonizing over whether or not to go to the door, which prevents Chandler and Joey from getting to the outlet stores to buy their Christmas presents. Meanwhile, Rachel and Monica are broke and tip the super (Mr. Treeger) and the paperboy with cookies instead of cash. The radiator knob breaks on the night of their Christmas party and Treeger says he can't get the part any time soon. Fearing he's retaliating for the cookies, Ross (who is still trying to get Rachel to forgive him) tries to prove himself to Rachel by giving Treeger a huge tip, only to find out he was telling the truth.

10. The One With Russ

Rachel convinces the gang she's over Ross, that is, until they meet the new guy she's dating, who is practically a Ross clone. Ross, who doesn't notice the similarities, is really bummed out. Joey gets an audition for "Days of Our Lives" and is torn when it becomes clear that, in order to get the part, he must sleep with the casting director. And Monica is dating Fun Bobby again and realizes he has a drinking problem. He successfully quits drinking, but becomes "'Boring Bobby" in the process.

11. The One With The Lesbian Wedding

Susan and Carol announce that they are getting married and they invite Ross to the wedding. Ross refuses to go, but when Carol comes over saying the wedding is off because her parents don't approve, Ross persuades her that it doesn't matter, and he winds up walking her down the aisle. And Monica has been hired as the wedding caterer and has to get help from the gang to get everything ready in time. Joey's first day on "Days of Our Lives" airs, and he is great. One of Phoebe's patients, 82 year-old Mrs. Adelman, dies on Phoebe's massage table, and her spirit enters Phoebe. She won't leave until she has "seen everything." The "everything" that sets her free is ... the lesbian wedding. And Rachel's mom comes for a visit and likes Rachel's life so much, she thinks she might want something like it for herself -- with more money, of course. She confesses to Rachel that she's thinking of leaving Rachel's dad, which Rachel has trouble accepting at first, until her mom says that she "married her Barry".

12. The One With The Superbowl - Part 1

Joey gets his first fan mail and starts dating the fan because she is gorgeous. He tries to ignore the fact that she thinks he actually is Dr. Drake Ramoray, the character he plays on "Days of Our Lives." Things go pretty well until she sees him kiss another woman on TV and breaks up with him. Meanwhile, there's a beer commercial running on TV with a monkey who looks like Marcel, which reminds Ross how much he misses Marcel. Ross decides to go to the San Diego zoo and visit him. At first the zoo tells him Marcel died, but then Ross learns that he was stolen and is having a career in entertainment. Marcel is the monkey in the commercial. So, Ross goes to see him on the set of his new movie, "Outbreak II: The Virus Takes Manhattan," and he and Marcel have a touching reunion. And Phoebe is invited (by a cute guy) to sing at the children's library. Her songs are so straightforward and truthful that the kids love her. But the parents don't, so she is fired. Then all the kids come to Central Perk to hear her play.

13. The One With The Superbowl - Part 2

The gang goes to hang out on Marcel's movie set. Ross is sad because it seems that, now that Marcel is a big star, he doesn't want to have anything to do with him. Ross gets Marcel's trainer to let Marcel come over for dinner one evening (Ross cooks his favorites), but then Marcel has to work late and the trainer cancels dinner. Finally, Ross and Marcel get to spend some real quality time together and they bond once again before Marcel has to go on the road. Chandler runs into Susie Moss (a girl from his 4th grade class who's a make-up artist on Marcel's movie) and they really hit it off. They start dating and Chandler's thrilled because she's a bit kinky. She gets him to wear-her panties to dinner one night, then leaves him stranded in the men's room wearing nothing but her panties -- as revenge for the time in 4th grade when he pulled up her dress and everyone saw her underwear. Meanwhile, Monica and Rachel battle for the affections of Jean-Claude Van Damme, the star of "Outbreak II".

14. The One With The Prom Video

Rachel tells Ross there is no chance for them -- she's been "clobbered" enough already. But when she sees the videotape of the night of her and Monica's Prom, (Rachel's date hadn't shown up and Monica's parents persuaded Ross to take her, so he got dressed up in his dad's tux and was about to make his grand entrance when they all saw that Rachel's date finally showed up and the girls were on their way out), the look on Ross' face makes it clear to her that he's been "clobbered" ten times more than she has, and she finally gives in. Meanwhile, Joey (who is finally making some money and wants to pay Chandler back for all his help in the past) gives Chandler eight hundred and twelve bucks and a gaudy, expensive gold bracelet, engraved with the words, "'To my best bud." Chandler thinks it's the ugliest thing he's ever seen but wears it anyway, because Joey gave it to him. When Joey overhears him making fun of it, his feelings are hurt. Chandler loses the bracelet and buys a new (and engraved) one to match the original; then the first one turns up in the coffee house and Chandler covers by saying he bought it for Joey. Now they have matching bracelets, and Joey feels great. Meanwhile, Monica, is having trouble getting a new job, so she thinks of asking her folks for a loan, but they expect her to rely on the 10% they taught her to put in the bank from every paycheck (which she hasn't done).

15. The One Where Ross And Rachel... You Know

Rachel and Ross have their first date, a t the end of which (during the kissing part) Rachel starts giggling. The next day she promises to make it up to Ross with a romantic dinner. But he gets called to the museum and has to work late and instead of disappointing Rachel, they have a picnic under the stars in the Planetarium, where they eventually get around to ... you know. Meanwhile, Monica caters a party for Dr. Burke, an ophthalmologist friend of the Geller's, and the two really hit it off. They struggle a bit with the difference in their ages but decide to throw caution to the wind. And Joey's DAYS OF OUR LIVES contract gets picked up so he buys a big TV and some recliners for the apartment and he and Chandler never get out of them.

16. The One Where Joey Moves Out

Another DAYS OF OUR LIVES actor is moving to a new two-bedroom apartment and encourages Joey to take over his place. Chandler is stunned when Joey explains that he wants to move out on his own, now that he's 28 and making good money. They play a game of foosball to decide who gets to keep the table they bought together and Joey wins, but decides to leave it for Chandler anyway. Meanwhile, the Gellers have a party for Jack's birthday to which they invite Ross and Monica ... and (their friend) Dr. Burke, who is rumored to have a "twinkie" in the city. (The men at the party want to hear graphic details, especially Mr. Geller!) Dr. Burke (also known as Richard) and Monica eventually confess that Monica is the "twinkie." And Rachel and Phoebe are going to get tattooed; then Ross says he thinks tattoos are gross, which prompts Rachel to re-think it. Phoebe persuades her not to let "Ross be the boss," then Phoebe herself chickens out. Luckily, Ross is surprised to find that he thinks Rachel's tattoo is really sexy.

17. The One Where Eddie Moves In

Joey and Chandler miss each other terribly but Chandler gets a new roommate, Eddie, after Ross and Rachel encourage him to "move on." Joey decides to ask Chandler if he can move back in but learns that Eddie has replaced him. And a producer has Phoebe record her 'Smelly Cat" song and make a video, but when Phoebe plays it for the gang, they realize it's clearly not Phoebe's voice. When Phoebe eventually figures this out, she feels sorry for the woman who sang because she doesn't get to have a video and Phoebe does. Meanwhile, Ross spends so much time at Rachel's, that he and Monica slip into their childhood bickering.

18. The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies

In an interview in Soap Opera Digest, Joey mentions that he "writes a lot of his own lines" (meaning he changes a word here and there) which pisses off the writers, who write Joey out of the show by dropping him down an elevator shaft. Joey's too embarrassed to tell his friends, so they find out by watching the episode. They're disappointed he didn't tell them, but supportive that he will get another job soon. Meanwhile, Chandler realizes his new roommate, Eddie, is a complete psycho. He accuses Chandler of having sex with his ex-girlfriend and killing his fish, then steals the insoles from all of Chandler's shoes. And Phoebe lets it slip to Richard that Monica's been with a lot of guys. Richard tells Monica he only sleeps with women he loves, which means he loves Monica! She goes to the bathroom to get a condom and she and Rachel have to "flip" a condom to decide who gets the last one because Rachel (having made the mistake of mentioning "animal" sex with Paulo to Ross) is now about to have "animal" sex with Ross, and there's only one condom left! Rachel wins the toss but when the two women come out of the bathroom, they find the two men in a heated argument

19. The One Where Eddie Won't Go

Chandler has reached the end of his rope with Eddie and finally gets the guts to tell him to move out. Eddie says he will but, when Chandler returns from work the next day, Eddie is still around and acting as though he and Chandler never had their earlier conversation about HIM LEAVING! Meanwhile, Joey tries to find work but has become pretty picky because of his time on DAYS. This would be okay-if he hadn't racked up a HUGE visa bill. Joey and Chandler join forces to solve their respective problems: Joey moves back in and he and Chandler pretend they don't know who Eddie is -- which works! Eddie goes away! And, Monica, Phoebe and Rachel read a new "Female Power" book which leaves Ross in the dust.

20. The One Where Old Yeller Dies

Phoebe is surprised and disturbed by the ending of "Old Yeller." It turns out her mom used to not show her the ends of sad movies, to protect her from the emotional pain. Phoebe goes out and rents a whole bunch of them, and they cause her to develop a really cynical attitude. Monica persuades Joey and Chandler to take Richard to the Knicks game with them, and suddenly the three guys can't get enough of each other. Joey and Chandler want to be lust like Richard! Monica starts to get jealous and when she confronts them, Richard finds out that the guys see him as a "dad." And Ross is tired of missing Ben's "firsts," and decides he wants to spend more time with him. Carol and Susan think that's a great idea. Taking care of Ben prompts Ross to mention his future plans with Rachel (two kids, house in the burbs), which freaks her out. Eventually, she and Ross decide it's okay for the two of them to be in different places regarding the future. In the end, Ross misses Ben's first word (he says "hi" to Rachel), but is thrilled when Ben tells him "bye".

21. The One With The Bullies

Two guys come into the coffeehouse and "bully" Chandler and Ross, telling them never to come back to Central Perk again. Ross and Chandler avoid the coffeehouse for awhile, but eventually decide to confront their fears and the two bullies. As all four guys get ready to "settle things" with their fists, two robbers try to run off with the watches and keys the combatants have laid aside. Their common pursuit of the thieves brings them together and the bullies agree "everything's cool." Phoebe (with Rachel and Joey) goes to her dad's house again, determined to meet him. She is chased back to the car by a tiny, yet ferocious, dog, and decides it's still not the "right" time to meet her dad. Driving away, she accidentally runs over the dog. The vet fixes him up and when Phoebe returns it, she meets her step-mother and learns that her dad also abandoned this family a few years back. The nice thing is, Phoebe and her half-brother meet and do a little sibling bonding. Meanwhile, Monica gets hooked on the stock market and loses all her savings (one hundred and twenty seven dollars). Totally broke, she has to take a job in a theme restaurant where the staff wears costumes and lip synchs to cheesy pop tunes.

22. The One With Two Parties

It's Rachel's birthday and Monica wants to throw her a party. Trouble is, Rachel's parents are divorcing and cannot remain civil to one another, so Monica plans to only invite Rachel's mom. Rachel's dad shows up unexpectedly, and the gang sets up an impromptu "second party" at Joey and Chandler's place for him to go to. Ross suffers through several awkward situations with Rachel's dad while trying to keep him from discovering the other party. Rachel ends up bouncing back and forth between the two parties and winds up depressed when she realizes this is how the rest of her life will be. Meanwhile, Phoebe starts sneaking people out of Monica's boring party (a la a concentration camp) and over to the wild and fun party at the guys' place.

23. The One With The Chicken Pox

Phoebe's excited because her "Submarine Guy" (Charlie Sheen), who resurfaces every two years to spend three days with her, is coming to New York for two weeks! But Phoebe catches the chicken pox from Ben, and when Ryan arrives, it turns out he hasn't had the chicken pox either. He decides he would rather get them now than sacrifice the time with Phoebe. So, they spend their two weeks together in Monica and Rachel's place and all they want to do is SCRATCH. And Joey's still looking for a job, so Chandler encourages him to use his acting skills and fake it as an entry level processor at Chandler's company. Joey takes it a little too far, making up all sorts of stuff about his character, "Joseph," and Joseph's family. Joseph becomes a great thorn in Chandler's side until Chandler decides his character "Chandy," really wants Joseph to quit, so he embarrasses him by sleeping with his "wife." And Monica lets Richard really see her true anal-retentive nature. She is relieved when Richard not only is accepting of her weird habits, but confesses to having a few himself.

24. The One With Barry And Mindy's Wedding

The time has come for Barry and Mindy's wedding, and Rachel must make good on her agreement to be Maid of Honor. To make matters worse, when Rachel walks down the aisle, the back of her hideous dress is tucked into her pantyhose. To top it off, Barry's parents told everyone that the reason Rachel didn't go through with the marriage to their son was because a brain fungus made her insane. When Rachel is dissed once again in the best man's toast, Ross stands up and defends her. Rachel is angry and embarrassed (he made kind of a fool of himself) but finally confronts her own fears by grabbing the mic and singing the "Copacabana" song. Meanwhile, Monica and Richard talk about their futures. They both see themselves together but Monica's vision has kids in it and his doesn't. After much thought, he decides he wouldn't mind having children with her, but she wants children with someone who wants them. And Joey tries out for a small part in a Warren Beatty movie and has to kiss a guy. Beatty proclaims Joey a "Good actor, bad kisser," which the gang ascribes to the fact that Joey isn't used to kissing men. Beatty wants to see the kiss again in a few days so, in the meantime, Joey tries unsuccessfully to get the guys to help him practice. And Chandler falls in love with a woman on the Internet and things progress nicely until the woman says she is married (her husband's having an affair). Chandler reluctantly agrees to meet her, even though it seems like he's bound to get hurt. When she comes into the coffeehouse she turns out to be... Janice.